Monday, November 12, 2012

Truth or Dare

Remember those old sleepovers we had as kids? Staying up all night, hopped on sugar and the good company of your BFFs? Toilet papering the yard of the hot guy on the basketball team (why did we do this, again??)? Watching videos on MTV (back when they played videos)? Talking about crushes? Playing Truth or Dare until someone either chickened out or got mad?
No? Only me?
Yeah, I’m not buying it. You remember. You just might not want to admit to remembering. Or your memory is worse than mine. Either way, odds are, you did one of all of those things back in the day.

Those were the days, right? 
So I thought it would be fun to take a walk down memory lane and play a virtual game of Truth or Dare. And being the good sport I am, I’ll go first.  And I’ll pick “truth”.
TRUTH… Tell us all something “bad” you did within the last 24 months…
Ok. Here I go…
I stole an “in-play” golf ball and didn’t give it back.
That sounds bad, doesn’t it? Anyone who plays golf is now going to hate me. But in my defense, it wasn’t on purpose. It really wasn’t. At least not at first.
I suppose I should preface this story with the fact that while I was growing up, my uncle lived on a golf course and his lawn was always littered with golf balls. I mean he could have made a mint selling used golf balls (if there was a market for such a thing.) So, I was accustomed to seeing golf balls lying around near a golf course.
Idyllic, at least until a golfer with a 
bulging vein in his neck is after you!
So one day, the scientist and I went for a walk along the golf course near my brother’s house. We were walking on the paved golf cart path and enjoying ourselves, the pretty weather, and the nice view. And then there – right in the middle of the paved path – was a golf ball.
I said, “Look, a golf ball.”
The scientist said, “You should take that.”
So I did. I tucked the little treasure in my pocket, and we continued on our walk. Well… about 5 minutes later, a man starts yelling down the path toward us. He was too far away for us to hear, and we didn’t think he was talking to us, so we just kept going.
But a few minutes later, thanks to the windy path we were on, he was now a bit closer to us, a little louder and looked a lot more irate. “Hey! Did you take my ball?”
It is at this moment that I now know I’ve messed up his game, accidentally, but messed up all the same. Normally, I would have copped to my ineptitude and apologized profusely, but the vein I saw bulging out of his neck warned me that he wasn’t the sort to listen quietly or calmly. So I just to keep my mouth closed in the cowardice act of self preservation.
Luckily, the path meandered away from him and we were safe for a while. But now we both know we’re in trouble. To get back home, we’re going to have to go right past him again. There isn’t another way. So on the fly we came up with a plan…
Ok, it was hidden better than this, 
or I'd be dead right now. 
Taking a deep breath as we approached our unintended victim, we were prepared for the onslaught of yelling. And the enraged golfer did not disappoint. His face was red, the vein was still bulging. He bellowed, “Let’s try this again! Did you take my ball?!?”
My scientist said… Well, I don’t know what he said, it was all in German. And I stared blankly at the golfer, as though I didn’t speak English and couldn’t understand why he was screaming at us.
“You don’t even speak English?” he barked. “Perfect! That’s just (expletive) great!”
My scientist said something else in German as we walked away, the golfer’s ball tucked safely away in my pocket.
So that’s how I stole an “in-play” golf ball and didn’t give it back. I’m not proud of my actions, but I am still alive. And being alive is very important to me.
Now it’s your turn. Truth or Dare?
TRUTH – Same as mine… Tell us all something “bad” you did within the last 24 months. (No cheating with things I did as a kid.)
DARE – Doorbell ditch your next door neighbor (but they have to be home at the time) and then tell us all about it. Do you feel 12 years old again?

OR - If you're too chicken to either tell us a truth or do the dare, I guess you can tell us your best sleepover memory.

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