Friday, August 24, 2012

Wish Me Luck, I'm Gonna Need It...

Ok. It looks like it's headed east... Use your imagination.
In a few hours, I will board a plane headed for the Rocky Mountains for a 9 day visit with my family. But I’m not going alone. Oh, no. I’m taking my teenage son and my wonderful boyfriend (better known to my Twitter followers as “the scientist”), who is either insane or the bravest man I know for agreeing to go on this sojourn out west.  Other than my son, he has never met any of my family until now.

I mean, my whole family will be there: my mother, grandmother, brothers, sister, nephews, etc. (The etc. would be my brother-in-law and my soon to be sister-in-law, my long-time BFF and her family, not that I was trying to be dismissive. And now the etc. doesn’t matter as I’ve spelled it all out.)

But in short – YES – everyone.  Warts and all. (I don’t think anyone actually has any warts, but you know what I mean.)

Of course, my hair is longer and redder.
AND I'm a girl, but you get the idea.
Not attractive. Not at all. 
Now that it’s time to leave, I’m not sure if I’m quite ready for this trip. I mean, I’m all packed. I’ve got our boarding passes, my car reservation, our hotel reservation. Technically, I’m ready. But it’s a little nerve wracking to think about the sheer number of people who will suddenly be thrust in front of the scientist in just a few hours.  I am terrified someone will do something to scare him off.  And then I’ll have to kill that particular family member.  And I’ll end up in jail. And as Andris Bear is fond of saying, “Prison orange is not my color.”

So in preparation, and to head off any stints in the joint, I have threatened both of my brothers with slow, torturous murder should they misbehave in front of the scientist. Yes, they’re both grown men, but the threats are necessary, let me just assure you. (Even if the threat *is* empty.)

There’s not much I can do with my grandmother. I don’t think threats would work with her. And though she loves me, she’s a bit of a wildcard with virtually no filter as she approaches her 90th birthday, and I’m never quite sure what will come out of her mouth. Note to self: KEEP A CLOSE EYE ON GRANDMA.

I’m fairly confident I can trust my mother, sister, and brother-in-law to all seem like reasonable people. Thank God for them. My nephews are as precocious and precious as they can be and I’m not worried about them at all, except for maybe upstaging me with their cuteness. I mean I am visiting… I should get all the attention, right? Well, my teenager, my scientist, and me.

Anyway, I have a visit scheduled to see my BFF, her husband and daughter one of the days we’re there. And I can hardly wait to see them. It feels like a lifetime since I’ve laid eyes on them, and I’m fairly certain the scientist will fit right in with this particular group.

It’s the group I’m related to that has my stomach all tied in knots. Don’t get me wrong. I adore my family. I love each and every one of them, despite their quirks or blaring flaws (they know the flaws of which I speak). But maybe I have nothing to worry about. He’s met my son after all. My teenage son. Can anyone be scarier than teenage boys?  Yeah, I’m not sure either…

So, I’ve got a rental car scheduled. (Usually I make my family chauffer me around town to wherever I want to go.) And I’ve got a hotel room reserved for just the scientist and me as my son is looking forward to staying with his cousins during this trip. So, I feel like if we need to escape the group I’m related to, we can do so with relative ease. Hopefully if we do need to make an escape, my family will be understanding. Crossing my fingers on that one.

So tell me, how did you introduce your significant other to your family? Did it go well? Or not so well?  I’m very willing to learn from others’ experiences. Any and all tips, helpful hints, or even well-wishes will be appreciated. Seriously… Wish me luck. I think I’m going to need it.

As a side note... I've had some friends who would like instant play-by-play of any and all newsworthy activities during this trip. So for them - and anyone else who is interested - I'll be live tweeting under #AvaVaca for your enjoyment over the next 9 days.

Originally posted at August 10, 2012