Saturday, February 23, 2013

You Know Who I'm Talking About...

Some people love their jobs, and some people hate their jobs, and some people love to make YOU hate their jobs. (Yes, that’s one more dig at power hungry TSA agents and local law enforcement, not that this is another one of THOSE blogs. I don’t fly again until April, though, so stay tuned.) No, today I’ve got a different target in my crosshairs – those men (because they’re always men) who love their jobs more than should legally be allowed in any state. (There are, of course, women in this profession, however, they always seem quite balanced.)

I don’t care if you live in New York City, Abilene Texas or Walla Walla, Washington. You’ve got one of these men in your area. I’m not sure why it’s always just ONE, but it is.  Perhaps there just isn’t enough oxygen in any given region for there to be two of them. This is actually a good thing. If there were two of them in a region, we might end up in some sci-fi paradox and the world would cease to exist. Each region gets only one. It’s some kind of law, I think.

You know who I’m talking about, don’t you?  A man who gets so excited about his job, it makes YOU a little uncomfortable watching him on TV in the privacy of your own home. I’m truly surprised more children don’t have nightmares about them like they do clowns because – honestly – they’re equally scary.

We got our first snowfall of the year a few weeks back. (I missed it as I was enjoying a nice cruise with Jerrica Knight-Catania and Catherine Gayle at the time. Yes, I’m rubbing it in.) Sometimes in Raleigh we only get one run-in with snow, sometimes we don’t get a run-in at all. So, I thought I’d missed all the wintery excitement this year, but I was wrong. We got a bit of snow this past weekend, and you’d think the world had come to a screeching halt. As Tes said earlier this week - in the south, the world shuts down for snow.  It’s just the way it is, and probably the way it will always be.

But that ONE man in our area always acts like the weather (whatever it may be) is THE singular most exciting, or scary event ever to occur. That’s right – I’m talking about your local weatherman. You know the one I mean. The ONE guy in your viewing area that gets a little wild-eyed and foamy about the mouth at the first sniff of cold air, or warm air, or wet air, or just about anything. This ONE guy loves his job more than everyone else in your viewing area combined loves theirs.

As I’ve said before – I’ve lived out West, the Midwest, the Southwest and now the Southeast.  And in each one of those places there was the ONE excitable weatherman who always seemed as though Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Mickey Mouse were waiting just off camera for him, waiting to high five him for his amazing delivery of the next day’s weathercast. He bounces a little too much in his shoes. He points at the map with a little too much vigor. And when he’s not  on the air, he LOVES breaking into scheduled programming at the drop of a hat.

He is your WEATHERMAN. The meteorologists at the other local networks are just pretenders, overshadowed by him. The other meteorologists at his own station are just poor substitutes until he’s back on the clock (always during primetime hours and occasionally in the morning, if he’s slumming it that day.)

And he totally and completely creeps me out.

Like I said, NO ONE SHOULD LOVE THEIR JOB AS MUCH AS THIS GUY DOES. Like it should be illegal in the lower 48. (I can see why someone might be excited about weather if they were in Hawaii or Alaska, but that’s beside the point.)  Instead of Santa Claus waiting off camera, I think there should be a psychiatrist waiting to administer a bit of valium as soon as he finishes his weather report. Being THAT excited cannot be good for his health, and it certainly isn’t good for MY mental health, and I’m just a viewer.

Watching him both exhausts and frightens me. I once found out I was attending the same boy scout event as our local WEATHERMAN, and I had to leave. Seeing him on TV is one thing, who knows what the man is capable of in real life!?! Honestly, I feel lucky to have gotten out alive.

What about you? What are your thoughts about your local crackpot…er…I mean…weatherman? Is he just as creepy as children's party clowns? Which one is scarier? Or is there someone even creepier than both, that I’ve somehow missed? 

Originally posted at LadyScribes Feb 22, 2013.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

A Meeting of the Matchmakers...

On this Valentine’s Day, bestselling authors Ava Stone and Jerrica Knight-Catania are happy to bring you a conversation between their most devious, managing, and cupid-like heroines, the ladies who may make a little havoc, but always find a way to make things right, all while getting others to do their bidding.
Without further ado… Caroline, Viscountess Staveley from Ava’s Scandalous Series and Katherine, the Duchess of Weston from Jerrica’s Wetherby Brides Series.
~ * ~
Caroline re-folds a letter from her sister-in-law and smiles to herself. Everything has turned out exactly as she’d planned.
“Are you going to voluntarily tell me the reason for that sly expression, or am I going to have to pry it out of you?” Katherine asks from the threshold.
Caroline grins in response. “An expression you’ve been known to sport quite often, Kat.”
Katherine shrugs and steps into the Staveley’s white parlor. “Indeed. But what has you smirking like that today?”
Caroline’s grin grows even wider as she makes room for the duchess to sit beside her on the settee. “Vindication. No matter how much my brothers complain about my ability to manage them, they both have me to thank for their current states of happiness.”
“I could say the same thing.” Katherine settles in beside Caroline, an equally sly expression now etched across her lovely face. “I’ve got a story or two about brothers of my own.”
“Of course you do. What feat, in regards to your brothers are you the most proud?” Caroline asks.
“Oh, that’s an easy one. Benjamin and Phoebe, of course. It was easy enough getting them to the altar, but they nearly sabotaged their marriage! If I had not stepped in, Lord only knows where they’d be by now.” Katherine turns to Caroline. “Your turn. Which couple was your greatest success?”

 Caroline taps her chin and scrunches up her nose. "That's so difficult to say, Kat. On one hand, Luke with his foolish male-ness would have lost Juliet forever, if not for me; but I think bringing Robert and Lydia together was my greatest accomplishment. Robert is so stubborn and set in his ways. Domineering, really. His mind had been firmly made up about his wife, and it still would be if I hadn't intervened. Now several children later, he hardly resembles his former self. It's so rewarding to know how happy he's become." Her hazel eyes twinkle mischievously. "I think we have to do what we do, Kat. Manage others, I mean. No matter how dangerous a situation gets. Where would our friends and family be without us?"
Katherine sits forward in her seat, clearly getting excited about the topic. "Oh, I couldn't agree more! Why, to think of the hoops I had to jump through for cousin Victoria. Goodness, it gives me the vapors just to think of that situation. Foolish girl! Now if we could only bring her brother, Thomas up to snuff! Of course, the way I've seen him carousing about Town tells me he's not thinking of settling down anytime soon. Perhaps Victoria and I can team up to change that. But tell me, Caroline, what--or rather who-- will your next project be?" 

"Oh, darling!" Caroline clutches Kat's hand. "There are just so many people in Town who need a happy ever after, don't you agree?"

Katherine nods whole-heartedly. "Indeed."

"Hmm." Caroline continues. "Lord Carraway would be high on my list of those to help next, as would that poor, brooding Lord Avery. Although, I think his sister, Cordelia Clayworth, might have something up her sleeve for that particular fellow." Her hazel eyes suddenly start flashing with indignation. "But I can tell you who won't be getting any help from me. The Marquess of Haversham can go hang, for all I care. That man makes your average rake look like a well-behaved saint!" She heaves a sigh and shakes her head as though to shake an unpleasant thought from her head. "Enough about him. What about you, Kat? Who will you focus your efforts on next?"

Jerrica pipes up, Ava by her side. "Ladies, I'm afraid we must ask you to stop right there."

Both Katherine and a Caroline turn to them, confused looks upon their faces.

"But why?" Caroline asks.

"We can't have you giving away any secrets now, can we?" Ava explains. "You'll ruin things for our readers."

Katherine shrugs. "She does have a point, Caro. But that doesn't mean we can't wait until they leave to continue planning our machinations."

"Oh!" Caroline leaps from her seat and rushes to where Jerrica and Ava are standing. "Well, thank you for stopping by, ladies," she says as she ushers them out the door.

They try to protest, but it's no use. They are no match for Caroline's desire to plan her next matchmaking adventure. 

If you'd like to read more from Katherine and Caroline, be sure to check out Jerrica Knight-Catania's Wetherby Brides Series and Ava Stone's Scandalous Series.