Friday, January 18, 2013

It's Been One of THOSE Weeks...

Last week was not one of my best, and it ended with my boss saying the following words to me – YOU KNOW, YOUR LIFE COULD BE A BRITISH SITCOM.

I wasn’t sure what to make of that, and I did send out a Tweet about that very thing. One of my followers replied with “At least he didn’t say your life was like an episode of Mr. Bean.” And there is that, I suppose.

I could soo live there! 
If my life was like an episode of Mr. Bean, you’d find me in some sort of asylum (and not the kind found in American Horror story because (1) that particular season takes place in 1964, not 2013 and (2) it’s an American horror series, not a British sitcom.)

But if my life is going to be like something, why can't it be like Downton Abbey? I would make an excellent dowager countess. Just ask anyone who knows me. 

But I digress…

My boss was, of course, referring to all of the insanity I dealt with in a one week period.

I'd totally rather do this than have to
endure some people's company.
MONDAY  - there was the hour and a half meeting at my son’s high school with his guidance counselor, math teacher, assistant principal, math resource, and – oh yeah – my ex husband. I’d rather have a root canal every day of the week than have to sit in a room with my ex-husband for an hour and half. I did 13 years in that particular prison. I’ve done my time thank you very much, warden. (My son wasn’t in any sort of trouble, by the way. We were dealing with why his math teacher seemed incapable or unwilling to return emails. Still not sure I'm clear on that, either.)

TUESDAY - brought the return of an old drama to my life. A while back, my youngest brother was assaulted and spent a week in the hospital recovering from his injuries.  I won’t go into all of those details because (1) it will set me off again and (2) his injuries were so traumatic, just thinking about them turns my stomach. And so on Tuesday, when I learned he’d dropped the charges against his assailant, it sent me through the roof. When someone nearly kills you and leaves you for dead, they need to put in jail. Period. They need to be off the streets to keep the rest of society safe. After listening to my tirade - which, you know, lasted FOREVER - my brother saw the error of his ways, and I’m happy to report that the charges have been reinstated. I didn't even know that was possible!

WEDNESDAY - I called work first thing that morning to tell them my freezer stopped working, but I promised I'd be in as soon as the repairman was done.

THURSDAY  -  Ah, Thursday was a good day. Thursday was my only good day. Thursday was the eye of the storm, where everything is quiet and you think it’s over. Thursday was a lie!

There's even a droplet of water that's
about to fall right here!
FRIDAY – the real fun began on Friday. I dropped my son off at high school and returned home to throw in a load of laundry before work. I noticed the laundry room floor was wet and I looked up to find the ceiling was leaking water. One plumber and one fixed toilet tank later, and I now have a slew of workmen in my house drying out the walls with big machines that make my house sound like an aircraft carrier. The bathroom floor and laundry room ceiling are both things of the past.

I don’t really understand how any of this would make for good television viewing in Britain, but if someone in London wants to pay me for my life story, I’ve got more.

This week hasn’t been any better. There’s (1) toilet in my bathtub and none of the others are working (this has something to do with the pressure from the missing toilet. I don't really understand that, but whatever.)  That's beside the point, which is...How am I supposed to live without any working bathrooms? Luckily, I have plenty of friends who’ll let me use their showers, etc. But come on!! At this rate I’ll end up in that asylum WITHOUT my life being like an episode of Mr. Bean.

The one bright spot is I’ll end up with a remodeled bathroom after this. If I can last that long.

Have you ever had one of THOSE weeks? Are you having one of THOSE weeks right now now?  If your life was a sitcom, British or otherwise, what would it be called? And what should I call mine, in case, you know - someone in London wants to pay me for my life story?

*Originally posted at Lady Scribes January 17, 2013