Some people love their jobs, and some people hate their
jobs, and some people love to make YOU hate their jobs. (Yes, that’s one more
dig at power hungry TSA agents and local law enforcement, not that this is another one of
THOSE blogs. I don’t fly again until April, though, so stay tuned.) No, today
I’ve got a different target in my crosshairs – those men (because they’re
always men) who love their jobs more than should legally be allowed in any
state. (There are, of course, women in this profession, however, they always seem quite balanced.)
I don’t care if you live in New York City, Abilene Texas or
Walla Walla, Washington. You’ve got one
of these men in your area. I’m not sure why it’s always just ONE, but it
is. Perhaps there just isn’t enough
oxygen in any given region for there to be two of them. This is actually a good
thing. If there were two of them in a
region, we might end up in some sci-fi paradox and the world would cease to
exist. Each region gets only one. It’s some kind of law, I think.
You know who I’m talking about, don’t you? A man who gets so excited about his job, it
makes YOU a little uncomfortable watching him on TV in the privacy of your own
home. I’m truly surprised more children don’t have nightmares about them like
they do clowns because – honestly – they’re equally scary.
We got our first snowfall of the year a few weeks back. (I missed it as I was enjoying a nice cruise with Jerrica Knight-Catania and Catherine Gayle at the time. Yes, I’m rubbing it in.) Sometimes in Raleigh we
only get one run-in with snow, sometimes we don’t get a run-in at all. So, I
thought I’d missed all the wintery excitement this year, but I was wrong. We
got a bit of snow this past weekend, and you’d think the world had come to a
screeching halt. As Tes said earlier this week - in the south, the world shuts down for snow. It’s just the way it is,
and probably the way it will always be.
But that ONE man in our area always acts like the weather
(whatever it may be) is THE singular most exciting, or scary event ever to
occur. That’s right – I’m talking about your local weatherman. You know the one
I mean. The ONE guy in your viewing area that gets a little wild-eyed and foamy
about the mouth at the first sniff of cold air, or warm air, or wet air, or
just about anything. This ONE guy loves his job more than everyone else in your
viewing area combined loves theirs.
As I’ve said before – I’ve lived out West, the Midwest, the
Southwest and now the Southeast. And in
each one of those places there was the ONE excitable weatherman who always
seemed as though Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Mickey Mouse were waiting just
off camera for him, waiting to high five him for his amazing delivery of the
next day’s weathercast. He bounces a little too much in his shoes. He points at the
map with a little too much vigor. And when he’s not on the air, he LOVES
breaking into scheduled programming at the drop of a hat.
He is your WEATHERMAN. The meteorologists at the other local
networks are just pretenders, overshadowed by him. The other meteorologists at his own station are just poor
substitutes until he’s back on the
clock (always during primetime hours and occasionally in the morning, if he’s
slumming it that day.)
And he totally and completely creeps me out.
Like I said, NO ONE SHOULD LOVE THEIR JOB AS MUCH AS THIS
GUY DOES. Like it should be illegal in the lower 48. (I can see why someone
might be excited about weather if they were in Hawaii or Alaska, but that’s
beside the point.) Instead of Santa
Claus waiting off camera, I think there should be a psychiatrist waiting to
administer a bit of valium as soon as he finishes his weather report. Being THAT
excited cannot be good for his health, and it certainly isn’t good for MY
mental health, and I’m just a viewer.
Watching him both exhausts and frightens me. I once found
out I was attending the same boy scout event as our local WEATHERMAN, and I had
to leave. Seeing him on TV is one thing, who knows what the man is capable of
in real life!?! Honestly, I feel lucky to have gotten out alive.
What about you? What are your thoughts about your local crackpot…er…I
mean…weatherman? Is he just as creepy as children's party clowns? Which one is scarier? Or is there
someone even creepier than both, that I’ve somehow missed?
Originally posted at LadyScribes Feb 22, 2013.
Originally posted at LadyScribes Feb 22, 2013.